And so it Begins

My first 2 blogs were a cry for help. (Not in general, but from one person specifically) When the help didn’t come, (drop the ‘p’ and add another ‘l’ and that pretty much covers it) I then realized that not only do I have to help myself, the next blog I write has to be for ME. So no more cries for help, but a plea for salvation. Writing these little online journals (or tech-venting as I like to call it) has been so incredibly healing for me. It helped pull me out of my deepest despair, and process a great deal of pain, anguish, and fear. However most of it has been RE-active, whereas I would prefer to try to be PRO-active. So I’ve decided I am going to try a little life experiment where for 100 days I will be practicing DAILY yoga, meditation, and inspirational reading to help me reduce stress and develop clarity and balance in all aspects of my life. Sort of like a little trip to the YMCA (Yoga, Meditation, Clarity, and Assimilation)

I am the type of person who needs a fair amount of discipline and routine to thrive. And I tend to be somewhat pensive in my thought process (a deep thinker, which unfortunately often just ends up causing elevated levels of stress and anxiety when combined with my tendency for being rather sensitive and occasionally emotionally high-strung). However, I do find it really perplexing when people completely 'turn off' and just trudge through life, without any serious thought or observations as to the purpose, meaning, or significance of it all. I believe that it’s crucial to at least TRY to uncover the 'hidden Mystery'. In fact, shouldn't that be our main quest in life as members of the limited, yet divine human race?

So this is just a way for me to further my awareness, or develop my consciousness so to speak. Although I’d say I’m really rather SELF aware already, I now realize, in this phase of my life, that being aware of ‘self’, is simply not enough. However, one thing I have been acutely aware of about myself for many years now, is that I am such an ‘all or nothing person’. If I can’t be perfect, then I may as well let everything go to shit. That is one of the biggest reasons I now have the word ‘Balance’ tattooed on my forearm. Of course life is never going to consist solely of love and joy and peace, and sugar coated goodness. Sometimes there will be pain and sorrow and shit covered awfulness. There will always be, and always should be, good with the bad, joy with the sorrow, and sunshine and with the storms. After all, how can we appreciate a sunburn without a few good thunderbolts? .......I wonder if it's possible to not only weather life's proverbial storms, but to actually learn how to catch a few of those thunderbolts along the way?? I'll have to ask my guru about that one.

Anyway, I need to keep in mind that just because I am on this little ‘quest’, I don't have to be a saint, nor do I need to be perfect or give up all forms of forms of ‘fun’. Having said that, I am also going to do my best to try to avoid things like alcohol, sugar, sex (yeah right), non-nourishing foods and negative thoughts/people. Things that cloud the mind or make things complicated. But let’s be honest, I’ve always had a bit of a wild child inside me, and every now and then there’s going to be a slip up or two. For example, I already have a couple of wild nights planned with the girls that could end up in total debauchery because, well, they always do! And besides, friendships, laughing and cutting loose once in a while, are all soooo important in life…....it’s all about Balance right??!

Namaste!